Love The One You're With 24/7: Self-Love

Self-Love means an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue. A proper regard for and attention

to one's own happiness or well-being. But it is not narcissism or conceit. When you are a busy working woman and you add mama on top of that, you must include self-love every day to make it through. I like to think of self-love as an invisible hug, an invisible cape which gives you the fuel and protection you need to navigate your daily challenges.


Sharon Martin, LCSW states, “Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualize self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how you’d talk to yourself, and how you’d feel about yourself that reflects love and concern.https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2019/05/what-is-self-love-and-why-is-it-so-important/


Think about your daily routine, by incorporating self-love your decision making will ensure you get a break at work, you will get a lunch break, and you will keep the boundaries you’ve set both professional and personal.


Boundaries – They are designed to protect and honor important parts of our lives. Clear and healthy boundaries are critical to clarify and protect us from acceptable and unacceptable, and personal values or other areas important to you.


A boundary is an invisible “barrier’ between you and other people which you will not go beyond, which others are not welcome. It is healthy to have a good sense of where your feelings and opinions start and stop. It is especially important to know how to set boundaries with “difficult” people – particularly with those individuals who are critical, controlling, manipulative, demanding, or aggressive.


How do you communicate your boundaries to other people? Here are some examples:

I have a problem with that..

I don’t want to…

I’ve decided not to…

This is hard for me to say…

I understand your point of view but…

I feel uncomfortable about…

Yes, I do mind…

It’s important to me…

That’s unacceptable…

I guess we see it differently…

This is what I need…


There are a number of ways to create and honor boundaries that are important to you. Be clear about the boundary to yourself and others. Make sure you have clearly defined the boundary, what is acceptable and unacceptable. Once the boundary is crossed, remind the individual of your boundary

and ask that you both maintain the boundary. If the individual continues to violate the boundary, ask firmly and politely for the behavior to stop. If the behavior continues, consider what further action is appropriate to stop the behavior, but remain respectful. Avoid the individual as much as possible. Honor the boundaries of others. Thank those who honor your boundaries.


Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa, a mental health care advocate believes “Self-love comprises four aspects: self-awareness, self-worth, self-esteem, and self-care. If one is missing, then you do not entirely have self-love. To have it, we should be aligned with these four aspects. The journey of achieving self-love does not differ from confronting your demons. It is the reason most of us lack it, because no one wants to sit down and have a conversation with themselves.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-upside-things/201911/self-love


“To love yourself is not an act of selfishness, it is an act of kindness toward others because when you love yourself, others don't have to deal with your unresolved problems. Ask yourself this question as often as you can: ‘What would someone who loves themselves do?’ Ask yourself this question whenever you need to make a decision, be it trivial or important. Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa


How do you practice self-love? Being kind to yourself is the first step. Forgiving yourself for past decisions or mistakes, loving who you see in the mirror, and appreciating the journey.